Hi
As i was freaked out, i was right to be so, because, my dearest friend who became my 'boyfriend' later on attempted to hurt me deeeeeply. I was the last person he should have treated so. I was the only one who was with him all the time when he needs support. I was the one who was more than enough patient with him. Even i was surprised at the fact that i can be that patient and caring and nice. I never treated someone as nice as i did to him. I knew that it wouldnt work. I told him so, when he attempted to call, me talk to me this way, i told him clearly that let's be friends, the other way wont work for us, because we had experienced. But he didnt listened to me, he argued contrary, he said that he changed and he wants to be happy with me and make me 'happy'. I told him many times that i am great, i am doing great without him. But he said he wants to make me happier, with him, he treated me bad before because he was not well either but now he healed, and he wants us to be happy!
A BIG LIE!!.!
I was relying on hiö in one point. I thought that he would never lie to me, he was honest, always, i wanted so even though it hurt me too much from time to time. But here we are, a big, dishonest lie....
Is it true that you should never be too nice to people! Is it better to be an asshole in order to do well in your life?
I still dont know the answers. But i am very sorry about it. I never meant to come to en end like that. I tried to hurt him, or tell him the truths during our final conversation! May be i hurt him, but the stuff i told him was just the bare truths he should have seen!And it is very true that i am a very strong woman, so i dont suffer or i am not devestated! I AM STRONG! However because he is too weak, he will suffer! Before i did care of him, i did take care of him! But now, since he tried to hurt me that bad, i dont give a shit! It is his life and he will learn to be strong one day. He will remember of me one day, feeling sorry... He knows well from deep inside that i didnt deserve any of these...
Thanks to his fault, i regained my self esteem! I am great. If he didnt notice it, may be because i was too modest, it is his fault. I feel great now and i know that i am great! The people who will try to get to know me will understand so. For those people, i will be more than nice. For the others who just judge me before getting to know, i dont give a shit. They lose.
Yeah. That's me.I am very glad that i got my self esteem back! I did need it!
I have been living my life...
H.
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